Couple Therapy

If you haven’t experienced couple therapy before, you might find the idea somewhat daunting. Here are some basic principles that might be helpful towards taking the first step:

  • Find an experienced couple therapist - look at the various directories and listings online and identify the qualifications and characteristics that you think will work for you both.

  • You can usually book an initial session and see how it goes.

  • The couple therapist will help you to share the time equally and articulate your feelings - a chance to communicate with each other in a constructive way.

  • Whether you are considering separation, staying together or need a relationship MOT, this space will support you both in hearing each other, understanding what’s happening and offer options for the future.

How I work

I regularly work with couples facing dilemmas in their relationship. One of the first steps is the debrief - talking about what’s going on - and starting to recognise well worn patterns, a path to untangling the presenting issues. It’s quite common to feel like you’re having the same, circular arguments or revisiting familiar problems.

At the beginning of the couples process, I ask you both to complete a questionnaire and this forms part of our work together. The sessions provide a forum for the issues to be aired in a manageable way. There’s the opportunity to clarify the most critical issues and also space to describe your own personal experience. It’s part of my job to ensure that you both feel comfortable - I hold the space for you and ensure you are both heard equally.

The initial sessions for couples are 1hr 20 mins, giving you both time to reflect on what’s happening. By the end of each session you should have a sense of what’s been achieved, where some work is needed and a clear outline of any potential homework. Many couples find the longer sessions very helpful and stick to the longer format, but a 1hr session is also available and sometimes this will work better with schedules and your diaries. You do not have to commit to exactly the same time every week or every two weeks - we can be flexible, working with your timetables and my availability.

After a several initial sessions, there’s an opportunity to have several individual sessions before getting back together. These sessions can be useful to identify your own personal habits and patterns that might not be serving you and your relationship. When I’m working with you directly, I provide you with tools and ideas to support some beneficial, behavioural change. Often there’s an opportunity to experiment and try different behaviours within couple therapy - sometimes the smallest difference, or something considered insignificant can create a powerful shift.

Practicalities

The registration process is the same as individual counselling. I will send you a registration form for you to complete asking for details such as mobile tel number; GP surgery; list of any medication and history of trauma and history of previous counselling (if any). We all also agree confidentiality as part of the terms/contract document and you agree to me holding some of your data.

I provide you both with a personal Zoom link, which remains yours, throughout the duration of your sessions. I ask you both to enter the Zoom room on seperate devices - even if you’re in the same location - so you can see each other face-on. Please have paper and pen to hand and bring your completed questionnaires to the first session.

Any questions? Let me know via the contact page or feel free to call me.